Tuesday, February 28, 2006 

Leaving on a jet plane...and other news

So, I've decided to leave for the Philippines (PI) on the Ides of March. I've always thought the Ides was a cool, special day, so why not fly then? Etu Brute?

I"ll be gone from March 15 - March 24. That should be enough time to be hospitalized...and enough time for shopping :-)


I've been learning what I can, little by little, about traveling in the PI. I shouldn't go any place without toting my own toilet tissue or kleenex, or even better, baby wipes. Apparently, cars and everything are fueled by diesel, and that leaves everything in a black mess...your clothes, your face, your nose, etc... And also, it seems toilet tissue is never provided in restrooms, so bringing TP is a must.


I also learned that I should exchange at least $20 US into Pesos here on Guam prior to leaving, so that I have a little money to tip and stuff initially. Then, when there, I can exchange the rest of my money, as the exchange rate is better. I learned that shopping is a must, and that I will fall so much in love with shopping that I will be singing praises upon return to Guam about how cheap everything is there. This is something I look forward to :-) I've been finding it hard to find a certain Filipino snack here on Guam, and I'll be buying loads of it.

Safety is something I need to be concerned about. I should only drink bottled water. I should only use the "hotel taxi" as any other mode of transportation is risky. I shouldn't walk out in the streets as much as possible, and just take the hotel taxi everywhere. When in the taxi, I should lock my door, roll-up the window...so air-con taxis are a must.


I also must ignore and not give to the needy population, which are mostly kids. Apparently, if I give to one little kid, they will run and fetch a thousand more, who will also be expecting money, and they will chase until money is given. The magic phrase that I should say to reject them: "Walang Pera" - "No money". It reminds me of Bali - you can't even entertain the sales-people on the street - you know, the ones wanting to sell you "rolex" watches - the minute you show one bit of interest, they think you automatically mean to buy, and they won't leave you alone until you do. They will also chase you down.


So, I've got to be careful back there. And I need to teach my mom about these rules too, as she will be alone for some time, while I'm isolated in the hospital. I'm scared mom will be so bored by herself that she'll wander about alone and someone will take advantage of her.

I'm getting a little bit of a head-start on my trip though. My coworker just left for the PI today, and I asked him to buy me a sim-card for my phone (a tri-band phone...whee!!), and a pre-paid load, so that when I get there, my cell phone is set for mom to use when I'm admitted (and the familia will have a phone number ready for which to call us). Apparently, cell phones and cell phone essentials are hella-cheap. Even sending text messages within the PI is cheap. Sending text messages to Guam is a little bit more costly, but not the 25 cents it takes to message from Guam to there.


I also look forward to shopping for "pasolubong" (sp?). It's like the Filipino equivalent of Japanese "omiyagi". It's gifts for the peeps at home to enjoy. And I'm already asking for wish lists, provided I'm told where to go get things. So...if you need something back there, just let me know. I'll try my best to get it :-)

=================== IN OTHER NEWS... =======================

If you know me, you know I don't do clubs and the like. Well, my coworkers do clubs. And they love to go out. And after many invites to such places, I finally accepted and went.


My first club experience was at the Globe on Saturday night. We changed clothes at work (yes, we were working the 3-11 shift, but still went out after work), and I drove everyone over to the Globe. Of course, I don't know where anything is in Tumon, so they gladly navigated. It turns out Saturday night was some sort of country music night, and there were statesiders galore. I felt like a midget in the land of the giants. Even the ladies were taller than me. And the place was full of square-dancing folk. The music was definitely unbecoming for us, so we stayed long enough only for a round of drinks, then quickly left.

My second club (and last, due to time constraints - we had to work the next day) of the night was a new place called Club Pash. That was more to my liking. The music was a Hit Radio 100 DJ production, and it was mostly good. Lots of popular dance songs were played, and surpisingly some 808 songs - which I must find on the internet as soon as I find their names. They played some dance-hall music, some hip-hop, some weird remixes. It was a rather small place, but maybe that's because the dance floor took up half the space. Seating was limited, I thought, but the furniture was a fun modern-retro mix. It was really cold in there though. The air-con seemed to be on full-blast.

I saw Lani and Michelle there, and I tried to wave to them, but I don't think they saw me :-( Lots of people were there, a good mix of locals and statesiders. The statesiders were kind of too wild for me - a small group of them had their own little private party going on, complete with reciprocating lap dances. It was entertaining to watch :P


I even got up to dance a couple of times, although I don't know how to dance for shit...and it was fun. The lights in there were kind of intense...almost seizure provoking, but interesting still.

I went home with my body aching, clothes smelling of smoke, but with a new experience under my belt. I don't think I'll be hitting the clubs on a regular basis, but I know now that it can be fun.


Thursday, February 16, 2006 

A little bit of progress

Apparently, I've got hella-good health insurance. I'm pre-approved for anything. Netcare says all I need to do is give them one business day to make arrangements in the Philippines (for lodging, transportation pickup from the airport to their own Netcare office there, plus the process of admitting to the hospital). And, treatment is 100% covered. I've already done all the diagnostic work-up here on Guam, so I don't expect the PI doc to do anything else but admit me and treat me, then send me back home.

There were some things I forgot to ask, but I'm sure I know the answers to them. I forgot to ask if the insurance covers the plane tickets to and from there...but I think not. I've got to be sure to prepare a list of questions for the next time I see the Netcare peeps.


I applied for my passport today. I've had one in the past, but I have since lost it. So I paid $158 bucks for it to be processed in 2 weeks. I really want to go in Mid-March - preferrably by or after the Ides. I hope mom can arrange to be away from work then. My head nurse is super - she understands my health troubles, and she just needs to know when, and I'm sure to get the leave.

Which reminds me...sick leave and annual leave. I've been using them like crazy for the past 3 or 4 months. I've just about run out of them both. Thank God GovGuam allows leave-sharing. I just have to find someone willing to donate leave to me, should I deplete my leave to nil.


And I can never jump off this "sick" train. I've been coughing so hard my lungs or bronchial tubes are hurting. My throat is sore because of the forceful cough. And nothing comes out. There must be some heavy-ass phlegm stuck in my lungs somewhere. And, my dermatitis is flaring up bad these days. The damn vinyl gloves at work are to blame. I try to soothe my skin with all kinds of lotions, which make it worse. Then I scratch and hurt like crazy. I got a bit of cellulitis with the recent dermatitis flare-up. Then yesterday, my hands got so swollen and red and hot and itchy and painful....*ugh* I took me some benadryl to get rid of that shit, but I know it will come back tomorrow when I go back to work.


It always comes back because I use the same type of gloves at work. I've tried to get the past Employee Health Nurse to get me special gloves, but she dropped the ball on it, and I've been suffering since. There's a new employee health nurse now, and I hope she will be able to provide me with these special gloves, but I've yet to see her.

A coworker of mine uses these special gloves. The employee health nurse only gave her ONE box, and God only knows how long that will last - so she conserves in certain ways. I hope the same doesn't happen to me. Maybe I should just buy my own damn gloves to use.


well...enough bitching for now...I'll keep you posted...


these are the gloves I should be using - NITRILE (but they are a bit expensive)

Monday, February 13, 2006 

It's confirmed...Grave's Disease is what ails me

So my endocrinologist, Dr. Reyes, says I have Grave's Disease - or hyperthyroidism. I'm fortunate to not have a big-ass bump in my neck (goiter), or protruding eyes from my sockets (exopthalmos), but my thyroid is in a super-hyper-overactive state. My diagnostic labs are completely off the charts, and my radioactive iodine uptake scan shows that my thyroid works so hard and fast, as if there's no tomorrow.

So what caused this? Well, the disease is really an auto-immune disorder - where my body thinks my thyroid is foreign and starts to attack it. My thyroid feels this and its reaction is to crank out the hormones...which is a metabolic hell.

I lost 20 pounds last year, in the span of just over 1 month. The rapid loss has been stabilized and pretty much stopped now. The other symptoms I experienced are happily gone as well, when I started medication in late November - early December.

And what's my treatment options? I'm already doing temporary therapy - which is just medications to control the symptoms and reduce the amount of thyroid hormone in my body. The permanent therapy and preferred treatment modality is Radioactive Iodine Ablation therapy.


What the hell is that? Well, they thyroid gland is the only part of the body that uses iodine. So because of this, radioactivity is added to it - thus radioactive iodine. I swallow a pill or drink liquid full of this stuff, and my thyroid devours it. No other part of my body will touch the iodine - so it's a very specific treatment. Once the thyroid takes up the iodine, it slowly gets killed by the radioactivity.

My doc says she wants me to be in isolation for 5 days, even though the dose of radioactivity is relatively small. The problem is, there's no place (a controlled environment) for me to do such treatment (GMH is not capable of this - there is no room lined with lead). Some patients on Guam
were able to do it as an outpatient (at home), but lots of precautions were taken. For me to do something like this at home is not feasible. And Val doesn't want me to bring radioactivity into the house.

So what's my other option? Doc says I can go to the Philippines - St. Luke's Medical Center in Manila. She says my health insurance will cover it. But the extent of the coverage is something I need to find out. I also need to come up with the funds to bring my ass over there, along with my escort - which is Mommy, of course :-)

So, I probably would stay a week or more in the PI. This is just a plan. I haven't given my final decision to Doctor Reyes yet. I've got to get me a passport. I've got to get me leave from work. My mom has to get leave from work too. I've got to get me tickets, and make arrangements for mom to stay over there somewhere too. The referral has yet to begin - papers need to be filled out, the receiving doctor in the PI needs to make arrangements over there too.

All this work and money, just to kill my thyroid.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 

"Sans Love"

"Sans Love"

02/07/2006
23:15

by: V. Cruz


You, alongside me
But we toil hours away seperately
Never to interfere unless situation demands
Never to collaborate unless needed are more hands

And I feel inferior to you in every way
Would I feel different had I a dissimilar status today?
Would your eyes look to me instead, for guidance
Or would they glance elsewhere still, only to me in defiance?


I'm alongside you
Yet our paths never cross, parallel lines of two
Never greeting you are my words, as they are lost
Never finding you are my thoughts, my heart on pause

And I feel burdensome to you, all the time
Would you feel anything for me, if my heart you could find?
Never seeing you are my eyes, blinded by your indifference
Never knowing you is my heart, no hope for contentment


Sunday, February 05, 2006 

Just a random thought

Papa likes to spend his time outside, in the garage (what is actually supposed to be called a "carport", but my family has always called it the "garage"...I know, we're backwards...), sitting in his chair and listening to the radio. The radio is always tuned to the chamorro station.

And I'm wondering...it seems like all chamorro music that's played is in the "country" style. And that bothers me. Why aren't there R&B chamorro songs? Or even Hip-Hop or Rock? Are we not capable of making chamorro music in these styles?

I think I know the answer.

The age group that sings majority of songs in chamorro are the elder folk. It's rare (I think) to see a young'un singing or even SPEAKING the language. Take me, for example. I'm 26 years old. I don't speak my own native language. I make music. I would love to make some of my music in chamorro. But ALL of my music is in english. Who are the peeps making chamorro music? The people old enough to be my parents or grandparents.


And what kind of music do older people usually listen to? It sure isn't Rap or R&B. So, their music comes out in a "country" style. And it appeals to mostly people older than me.

I think it would be useful to make "youthful" chamorro music, to help promote learning of the language. Maybe if the chamorro music was hip and up-to-date, the younger generation can catch on to it.

Maybe.

But what can we rap about in chamorro? What chamorro words can we scream in a heavy metal song? What would we sing about in chamorro?

Probably most anything. But who can do it? And will anyone do it?
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a few more things to add...

I tried to translate some of my poems into Japanese. It's super-hard. And it doesn't flow the same as in english (writing in english is so natural and easy, compared to trying to write something in japanese). I imagine translating into chamorro will pose the same problems. It's better to just write from the language, and not translate.

So my lifelong goal and quest to learn Japanese and Chamorro continues...
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and here's a rather blurry, but recent pic of me...