Thursday, August 30, 2007 

In the mood to watch TV

Off from work today...did all my errands (renewing my nursing licenses, turning in yet ANOTHER jury questionnaire letter with evidence that I'm a Registered Nurse - to the same Guam Supreme Court, and settling some business at iConnect with Ro).

So, I thought I'd take a nap, but for some reason I had the urge to watch TV. I haven't watched TV in a super long time - so I channel surfed a bit - amazingly landed on the WE channel (something I don't really care to watch) - and guess what's showing - an all day Bridezilla marathon.

I don't know why I was drawn to such a stupid showcase of bratty-bitchy brides - but as I type this, I am still watching the shit. I can't believe how KADUKA these bride-bitches are! They are absolutely MATAPANG, and are really delusional - I'm watching one bride-bitch that is making her whole wedding out to be "royal" - her bridesmaids are the "royal court", and everyone is expected to follow her every word as if she were God. Un-fucking-believable. Another bride is such an egocentric, inhumane, and quite possibly insane, prima donna, who leisurely pops Valium and Xanax because she doesn't get her way (and by the way, she was DOPED up on her wedding day on said drugs - classy).

People like this exist? And supposedly act like monsters because of the "stress" of planning a wedding? GIVE ME A BREAK. These bitches must be like this ALL THE TIME.

I officially give my family and friends permission to SLAP MY FACE if I ever act the way these bitches do.

8/30/2007 09:37:00 PM | |

Wednesday, August 22, 2007 

Found something else to blog about - Air-con.

Kids these days are really spoiled. I thought I was spoiled, but I guess each generation seems to have it easier than the last - more conveniences, more technology, more things done for their benefit.

I was having dinner with the grandparents and the TV was on KUAM news. There's a big brouhaha over lack of air-con in schools.

I spent most of my primary education in classrooms that did not have air-con. Air-cons kind of became compulsory for GPSS schools around the early part of my high school years. Newer schools since then were constructed with air-con systems in mind - like Southern High school - windows are small and located near the top of walls - how can wind circulate and ventilate a room like that? Older schools were renovated to accommodate air-con systems - they closed off large windows or sealed them to prevent cool air from leaking.

Now that GPSS is having difficulty maintaining air-cons in some schools, people are finding the classrooms to be too hot for education instruction.

So, if air-con is something not guaranteed to be provided by GPSS, why don't we just revert back to the way things were before air-con? I remember my old school classrooms used to have huge louvered windows and lots of minimal-noise ceiling fans - and that was adequate for learning.

Do we absolutely need air-con? My grandparents and parents survived school without air-con. I survived most of my school years without air-con also. Why can't kids these days do the same?

8/22/2007 06:27:00 PM | |

 

Just some random stuff to blog about

Papa's recovery:

Papa has been doing well - the urologist removed the suprapubic catheter last week, and I've been in charge of cleaning the wound every day with peroxide and saline. It's healing well - so far no signs of infection. Papa hasn't been with any bowel or urine troubles, which is such a relief (I don't want any potential problems). What we're worried about now is seeing the oncologist (cancer doctor - remember, there's only one on Guam).

We're in the process of getting an appointment with the oncologist. So, we'll see what he has to say about Papa's cancers (lung and colon) - and we'll figure out what kind of treatment can be done, if Papa wants treatment at all.

We're all scared of chemotherapy, that's for sure. It not only kills the cancer cells - it kills normal, healthy cells in the body too...which makes for some very nasty side effects. Chemotherapy basically makes you sick. I'm not sure Papa is willing to undergo a treatment that makes you sick, when you are otherwise feeling okay and well.

When Papa saw this oncologist last year, the preferred treatment for Papa's lung cancer was radiation - but Guam's radiation machine was broken at that time, and a new machine has not been acquired yet. So Papa was told to go off-island for radiation treatment - in Hawaii or California - and Papa's insurance would have covered the medical costs, but honestly, we don't have the money for the other expenses - such as lodging and airfare (which the insurance does not cover, unfortunately).

When Papa went to California in 2004 for his heart attack, his savings was exhausted, so he would not be able to afford another stay at a hospital stateside this time around.

I've been thinking lately that maybe I should try my best to fund Papa's future medical treatments, if possible - because I will be making more money in the near future as a Staff Nurse, so maybe I can afford to help Papa go back to California for treatment...of course, that's if Papa wants to treat his cancers at all. Because we lack the equipment here on Guam, Papa has just been sitting idle with regards to his lung cancer.

I have a feeling that Papa is just gonna let his cancers go untreated. But we still need to see the oncologist to find out how advanced is Papa's colon cancer.

Our next check-up with the surgeon is in 6 months - I don't know if he plans to do another colonoscopy at that time. We'll find out.


Work, work, work:

I finally turned in my application for Staff Nurse I today. I'll still have to undergo the usual interview process and stuff, but I so look forward to a bigger paycheck.

I'm not necessarily happy about the expected increase in responsibility, but I guess that's just what comes with the job. I'll just keep trying my best to do my best at work.


Home life:

I realized today that my room is such a mess. There's things I need to throw out, organize, move around, etc. But, I hate cleaning my room. I just let everything accumulate and pile up until I can't stand it anymore - and soon it will come to the point where I'll have to clean it, 'cause it's hard for me to find what I'm looking for.

Any volunteers want to clean my room for me? I'll pay by the hour :-P


Being a consumer:

I took Papa out to get some ice cream after one of his appointments this past week. I tried the Dreyer's stand at the Century Plaza in Tamuning. I stood in line (second in line actually) for about 20 minutes, waiting to be served. The first people in line was a large family with many orders. There was only one person available to serve customers. The family, realizing that I had been waiting for a long time, were kind enough to tell the server to please accommodate me in between their orders, and I thanked them for thinking of me - and then I proceeded to tell the server my order - but he stopped me mid-sentence to tell me that he can't serve me at the time, because he'll get all the orders mixed up. Then he turned his attention back to the first customers and got more of their orders.

Now, that really pissed me off. My order was small and simple. And he chose to continue serving a more complex and lengthy order, and keep me waiting. It was already 20 minutes that I was patiently waiting. I decided to look behind the counter after he brushed me off - and guess what I found - someone cleaning up in the back! I thought - okay - this guy in the back must work here, otherwise he wouldn't be cleaning and organizing things, right? So I step over to the back and kindly asked him if he also worked at the stand, and he said "no".

So...if you don't work there, what the hell are you doing cleaning and organizing things in the backroom? By this time, Papa was getting irritated and was even telling me, "nevermind, let's go". But I don't back down so easily. I know what I want, and if I promise someone ice cream and I'm already at the ice cream stand, I'm not leaving until I get that fucking ice cream!

In seeing my disappointment, the guy in the back room surfaced to speak to the server - and they were speaking in Tagalog so I didn't understand what they were saying. But soon after the back room guy decided to serve me - and he appeared to know what to do - he prepared my orders without difficulty - two shakes and one junior scoop of ice cream. Now - what did that mean...did he purposely tell me he didn't work there just so he can get out of serving me? That made me even more pissed.

But, being the good consumer I am, I held back my frustration, proceeded to pay for my orders and even smiled in return. But deep inside I felt mistreated and inadequately served. Needless to say, I will not be returning to that stand for ice cream in the future.

The point I'm getting at - as a consumer, I feel that most times, we are at the MERCY of the businesses we patronize. Why? Well, being on this isolated island, we have NO CHOICE but to patronize those stores. And I think sometimes the businesses know this and thus don't try hard to provide basic customer service. These businesses have what I want or need, and I have to bend over backwards for them? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Well, at least in this case, I do have a choice in where else to get ice cream. But generally, I think businesses should do more to please and keep their customers, and not just rely on the fact that we need them no matter what.

Another thing that is surely becoming a pet peeve for me:

What island do we live on? Guam. What are the official languages of Guam? Chamorro and English. If you are not speaking either of these languages in the workplace, then you are doing a disservice to your customers.

I HATE...ABSOLUTELY HATE it when workers at stores and such speak a language other than English or Chamorro right in front of you. It makes me feel uneasy, for what if they are talking about me in a bad way? I wouldn't be able to know, because they are speaking a different language.

This also happens in the hospital. We can put up as many signs as we want, telling us to speak English only at the nurses station, but STILL, people are NON-COMPLIANT. It's getting to me. We are not a Filipino hospital in the Philippines. We are on Guam people. Speak English or Chamorro.


Okay, that's enough blogging for one day.

8/22/2007 03:48:00 PM | |

Thursday, August 16, 2007 

Ronnie's thought of the day - IF ONLY...

If only....erasing HIM from my memory would be as simple as deleting HIM from my hard-drive.

It's time to empty the recycle bin.

8/16/2007 10:41:00 AM | |

Wednesday, August 15, 2007 

Finally. Exemption.

On Jury duty day #2, the court finally let me go, or I should say, FREED me. But only after I stuck around for the most of the day and talked with the judge himself. The judge was even asking me "what are you doing here? I thought nurses are automatically excused?"

... *speechless*

But, anyhoo...the important thing is I'm out, I'm getting back to my regular life routine, and jury duty will no longer interrupt it...for now at least...I'm not saved from getting another initial jury summons in the mail in the future, but at least I can get back to work and not bother my already burnt out coworkers to cover my shift.

----------------------
I just finished uploading pics of Val and Chet from Val's August 2007 trip. Have a look here:
http://community.webshots.com/album/560289995fJwvJf?vhost=community

I'll embed the video of Chet that Val took (it's a short clip - that's my Chetman!)



digipics_2007 093.mov

----------------------

8/15/2007 09:13:00 AM | |

Monday, August 13, 2007 

Jury duty sucks ass

Seriously.

I thought nurses and doctors were exempt from jury duty. But NO...I'm still trying to get "clearance" from some judge to exempt me from serving this term. I've been called to jury duty at least twice before, and I know I was able to be exempt due to my mental illness and doctor's excuses, so I don't know why this time it's so difficult.

I turned in an official letter from GMH to them. Last week I faxed them a copy of both of my nursing licenses, 'cause apparently they failed to tell me from the get-go that they also needed those as proof - so delays again. I report to my very first day of duty today only to find that they never received my fax, so I end up giving them my copy of my licenses. Delays again.

Honestly...what do I have to do to get exempt? BLEED? I have to report again tomorrow at 09:00 AM for my second day of duty - and because of this, I'm requesting leave from work - and my coworkers now have to scramble to find coverage for my shift 'cause I won't be there.

I explained this situation to both my head nurse and my nurse director (the big boss) - and they will be calling the Jury commissioner's office today to find out what the hell is going on.

I am an essential employee of GMH. Nurses are needed. I am a nurse. LET ME GO DAMMIT!

Now...I will tell all those who've not yet experienced jury duty what you have to look forward to:
B - O - R - E - D - O - M

And remember, this is mandated shit - if you play hooky, your ass goes to jail. If you chew gum in court or answer your cell phone, your ass goes to jail or pays a fine, or both. If you dress inappropriately in court, your ass goes to jail or pays a fine, or both. If you don't follow their directions or misbehave, your ass does all the above again.

You report early to the jury office only to WAIT, WAIT, GET IN LINE, WAIT, SIGN IN, WAIT, WAIT...oh, did I mention - WAIT.

You answer some questionnaire pertaining to the type of case you might be involved in (nothing specific, just general shit - to see what your opinions or biases are), then you go on a 2-3 hour lunch, but are mandated to REPORT BACK and repeat the aforementioned steps (WAIT, WAIT, ETC.)

You sit in a very crowded room, elbow to elbow with strangers, and you WAIT some more.

You become bored. You start to fall asleep. You're uncomfortable. You realize life is wasting away while you sit there waiting for them to tell you if you will do something in court or not. All the while, a Court Marshall is detaining you in this same room - only allowing you to leave said room in order to use the bathroom or grab a cup of water - whatever you do, you must ask permission first. Or else they'll think you're trying to escape, which your ass will be in trouble for if you do.

Then the commissioner finally returns after a couple of hours and tells you to report back the next day to do the same shit over again.

Oh joy.

I had my iPod with me. I had my phone. Those things weren't enough to keep me occupied. I caught myself nodding off many times, and it bothered me so much to be falling asleep in such an uncomfortable position (sitting up in a chair with nothing to lean on) - so I forced myself to leave my chair and walk around in the crowded room - just to STAY AWAKE. I mean, I was pacing the same path of carpet for at least 30-40 minutes. I swear, I must have looked like a mentally-insane person to the other people in the room - pacing for such a long time, talking to no one and just listening to my iPod. But there's really NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

I dread tomorrow. I don't want to be that bored ever again! I have ADD for fuck's sake! Forcing me to sit still and do nothing interesting will KILL ME!

I really want to bring my damn portable DVD player tomorrow. But that's probably not even allowed in the court building. Shit...I wish I had gotten the iPod Video version - my nano only shows pics, and plays music. No video :-(

Whatever. I just hope my mind will be able to keep busy somehow.



8/13/2007 04:59:00 PM | |

Saturday, August 11, 2007 

Updates...

I am so loving this song...
Dashboard Confessional's "Don't Wait"
-----------------------------------

-----------------------------------

Papa's recovery is good so far - staples already removed by Dr. Kobayashi - now a few steristrips are present at the incision line to help keep the skin together, and no signs of infection so far. The suprapubic catheter is still there - I'm just cleaning the site and changing the dressing every time Papa has his sponge bath. So far the site looks okay, I'm monitoring for infection as well.

Papa gets around the house just fine - he's the one draining his urine bag and recording the output for the doctors. We've got appointments to get to still, and this catheter will be with Papa for almost a month.

---------------------

Val's back at last ;-D She got in sometime after midnight, and now she's relaxing today. The family got together for lunch here at Latte Heights - Mom and Dad cooked for us, so it was good chow :-D The only ones missing were Uncle Paul (at work), Ro (I think at work also) and Trev (still off-island for national guard training). Justin is still here, playing with Val and Myloe ^_^

We were able to watch Chet's ultrasound videos - we all agree that baby "Corbin" (that's the name Chet and Vic decided on) has his daddy's nose and so far we think he has Chet's mouth. But most of the time he would hide his face with his arms and hands - but we were able to see him yawn and suck his thumb :-D It's amazing that this kid is inside of my sister! We told Justin that soon he will be an uncle, but I don't think he understands what that really means :-P

---------------------

I got me an iPod Nano 4Gig (2nd generation)! It's the blue colored one - I'm loving it so much. I wish I had more time to listen to it - work has banned iPod use, so I can't listen to it there, even if I'm just charting at the computer, so really I've been using it to put me to sleep at night :-D

I realize that I will soon have to upgrade my cellphone - the current one is doing funky shit - like shorter battery life and sudden shut-downs without me even doing anything. *shrugs* I guess it's just time to retire it - I've had it for more than 3 years now.

Then...the ultimate tech-toy that I have my eyes set on - the Creative Zen Vision W (60 Gig model) - that is a cool-ass personal multimedia player.


Here's the official site: http://www.creative.com/products/product.asp?category=213&subcategory=214&product=15752
It supports most audio and video formats - like DivX.

-------------------------
I guess that's it for now. Sometimes I'm reminded at work about my breakup - there's still lots of people who think I'm still together with him - it's getting to me now - I hate repeating myself and explaining to people all the time why I broke it off. If I really wanted them to know, I would offer the information myself, right? It's just a little annoying, that's all.

8/11/2007 01:57:00 PM | |

Saturday, August 04, 2007 

Papa's been in the hospital

For the past 2 months or so, Papa has been suffering from really bad bladder and bowel elimination problems and recurrent urinary tract infections. We had x-rays done at the clinic, his primary doc referred him for an extensive CT scan as an outpatient, and we also were consulted to a surgeon for another diagnostic procedure - a colonoscopy.

Papa's already had a colonoscopy in 2005, but the only significant thing found were diverticuli (little outpouchings in the intestinal wall due to weakening of the walls, which result in empty spaces where feces and stuff can collect and become infected over time.

So, initially, Papa's primary doc just thought that those little diverticuli were the culprit, and were just infected or with inflammation. After very little or no improvement after weeks of antibiotics (on/off courses due to symptoms returning), the CT scan was done and showed a strange mass in the lower part of the colon.

Then we made arrangements through the surgeon to have a colonoscopy done as an outpatient at GMH - this process took a while - I was disgusted at how slow everything went just to schedule one procedure.

Anyhoo, Papa went in for the colonoscopy on July 25th - we were thinking it was to be straight forward and simple - just do the thing, recover for an hour in the post-op recovery room, then go home and await results. But that's not what happened. The procedure could not be completed due to that mass blocking the path in which the scope was to pass - I guess it really was that big. So, the surgeon decided to admit Papa into the hospital, and we did a repeat CT scan again (extensive scan again with IV and oral and rectal contrast to light-up the colon).

After the CT scan, the surgeon decided to consult an internist from Takecare to handle the medical aspects of Papa's case. Both the surgeon and the internist agreed that Papa needed surgery to remove the mass, which now became known as the "tumor". This is what they concluded - Papa's difficulties with have bowel movements (diarrhea, abdominal pain, bloatedness and the feeling of stuff being backed up inside) was due to the large tumor blocking the colon path. The urinary problems was due to the tumor being so big, it pressed on the bladder (thus Papa's frequent urination, possibly ineffective bladder emptying leading to left-over urine staying inside and getting infected) and the bladder apparently suffered damage as a result of the tumor intrusion.

So, on the 26th, we spent the day prepping Papa for surgery. He was to have a Colectomy (to remove the part of the colon that had the tumor) and a Resection of the Bladder (to remove the damaged part of the bladder and seal it back up into a smaller pouch if possible). Papa was on clear liquids only, and had to drink a fluid called Golytely (go-lightly) which made him shit all night - the idea was to completely clear the bowel of any fecal matter - essentially, keep shitting 'til it's clear. Also, to help the lower end of the colon, soap suds enemas were given to papa - again to shit 'til it's clear.

On the 27th, Papa had the surgery. They did what they had planned to do, and nothing more, thank God. But, Papa came out with more tubings than when he first went in. He had a Nasogastric tube (NGT) in place to help remove backed up gas and liquids in his stomach. He went in with a foley catheter and came out with the same one (tube inserted into the pee-pee hole then up into the bladder to drain it). The other new tube was a Supra-Pubic Catheter - this was done by a urologist during the surgery - it's a smaller catheter placed in the bladder itself, through the abdomen and drains urine like the foley catheter - so essentially, Papa had 2 pee-pee bags. And Papa came out with staples running down his belly and across to the right side of his belly. Oh yeah, and there's also the IV tubings connected to the IV sites in his arms. So...lots of shit.

Since then, Papa has had a very good recovery. The tumor specimen was sent off-island for diagnostic labs - we will find out exactly what kind of cancer it is, and in what stage. Mind you, Papa still has his right lung cancer that we've not yet treated, so we don't know if it's 2 separate cancers, or if one lead to the other (metastasis). We'll see. But we know already that we will have to follow-up with Guam's only Oncologist (cancer doctor) to figure out our next steps in treatment.

But, Papa's slowly healing from his surgery - we removed the foley catheter last night - I just have to make sure he can still pee the usual way today. He will still have the supra-pubic catheter for a couple more weeks - so we are planning to have the Takecare home-care peeps visit us every now and then to monitor it. No more NGT - papa's been on solid food for a few days now. He's able to have a bowel movement, burp and fart, so I know the gastrointestinal pathways are working and are hopefully not backed up anymore. Papa did need a little blood transfusion this week (to help recover the blood he lost after the surgery of the bladder), but he's okay now. And his urine has been clear and light yellow for a few days as well - no more bleeding there.

We're planning to go home today. I'm off from work, so that's a good thing. I need to have a talk with the nurses before we go - and make sure they tell me how the doctor ordered them to clean around his staples and his supra-pubic catheter. I need to get medical supplies for the house. I need to catch up on some sleep too. I'll let you know how the homecoming goes...

8/04/2007 10:35:00 AM | |

Thursday, August 02, 2007 

FINALLY back online...but with some awful news to share

Just when I needed to blog the most, my computer DIES on me. Something was wrong with the video card or something, and just yesterday I got the tower back from PC Outlet. I missed my computer so much! I'm doing a complete virus scan as we speak, and already I'm finding some bugs that weren't there the last time I scanned pre-crash. So...that's annoying, but I'll fix it.

A lot of shit has been happening.

SHIT #1
When I last blogged, it was a poem about my feelings. And well, I acted on those feelings and I broke up with my fiance. It was a HORRIBLE breakup. For a while now, I've been falling out of love with him. I even stopped sleeping with the stuffed animals he gave me. I stopped wearing the necklace and rings he gave me. I was only wearing my engagement ring - TiCo (which I bought) - and I realize now that buying TiCo was my last-ditch effort of making me try to stay in this relationship. But I was lying to myself. I was really unhappy after all. The language barrier and communication difficulties just proved to be to much for me to deal with. I was VERY understanding for a LONG time. I mean, we had our 1 year anniversary and all. But I was trying TOO hard to stay in love with him. I was fooling myself.

The very last phone call I made to him was terrible. We were silent about HALF the time. He was watching TV while on the phone with me! We didn't talk about anything! He just asked me every now and then, "how are you?" Plus, the phone reception itself was absolutely horrible that night...I mean, it's always a bad and unclear call, but I couldn't understand anything he said mostly. I felt that it's USELESS.

HOW CAN I STAY IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THAT I CAN'T TALK TO?

I've had this communication concern with him 2 times previously (which nearly caused breakups) - and both times he PROMISED to do BETTER. Well...the third time was it. I've had enough. Three strikes, he's out.

So, after that useless phone call, the next day he proposes something to me. He said his mom had difficulty selling her piglets (baby pigs) to a buyer because the buyer saw that they were sick. But, per Arnold, the piglets got better, but still, the buyer refused. So, Arnold and his mom talked to each other and decided to ask me to buy ALL 7 PIGLETS, at a cost of 2,000 pesos each, or over $40 US dollars EACH, totaling over $300 US dollars. I said I'll ask Val if I can offer help, 'cause I don't know shit about my finances.

But then, he also says, that when I buy all the piglets, his mom will RAISE them until December, but she also needs money EVERY MONTH to feed the damn piglets - he wanted me to send them $100 US dollars monthly to raise the 7 piglets. He said come December, when his mom sells them off, I will get ALL my money back.

So...that raised so many RED FLAGS.

Number 1 - I know nothing about agriculture or raising animals for sale. I realize anything can happen to animals - they can get sick, they can die, etc. What if those piglets don't make it to December? I'd still be sending $100 monthly! What if she has difficulty selling them in December? She will just keep them and I'll have to keep feeding them???

Number 2 - this is an issue that I shouldn't have been brought into. WE ARE NOT EVEN MARRIED FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Why is he making me worry about his parent's financial woes? I felt that he was out of line in coming to me for help.

Number 3 - I asked him 2 times in a row during our text conversation of this piglet issue - ARE YOU SURE THERE ARE NO OTHER BUYERS? And guess what, HE FAILED TO ANSWER BOTH TIMES. So how else am I to take that? Naturally, one will think that they did not TRY to find someone else and they're just AUTOMATICALLY seeking ME for help, because they think I'm a SURE THING.

Number 4 - I know I gave them lots of nice things. Nice, expensive things, like name-brand things. But those were gifts that I knew they would like, or things that Arnold told me they liked. So I gave them those things to repay their hospitality. Did this give them the impression that I'M MADE OF MONEY?

Number 5 - I did the MATH. I calculated all the money he wanted me to send, plus the money to buy the pigs, and compared that to the selling price he gave me in December - and guess what - in the end, it came out as a LOSS of money.

You know, I really felt that this was a problem that he and his family should have dealt with on their own. I don't think it was right of him to drag me into this.

So after this shit, I stopped texting him for about 3 days. The next day, I sent him a text saying that I can't marry him, because I'm not certain that I want this relationship. I didn't go into details and give him reasons why, but I essentially said it's over. Then I cut him off completely - I deleted his Syner-G account - so he wouldn't be able to text me back for 1 peso. If he wanted to say something to me, he would have to do it the regular way - text my number the regular way. BUT HE DIDN'T.

You know, I think he got TOO COMFORTABLE with me. He thought I was caught. He must've thought that he'd done everything to completely have me. Boy, was he WRONG.

SHIT#2
The breakup.

About 3-4 days later, I kind of felt that I owed him an explanation - you know, the actual reasons for the breakup. So I sent him a text, stating I can't stand the communication problems any more, and I can't help but think that he will USE me in order to realize his dreams for his family.

Let me explain further.

In the past, he has told me that he wants to give his mom and dad a better life, to make sure he can provide for them financially. As they are now, his mother breeds and sells piglets - I know now that it's a business that does not provide steady income. His father is a construction foreman, so his income depends on whether or not he has a job site to work on - so at that time, he was without work. So really, Arnold was the only steady income earner for his family - having a steady job and guaranteed pay.

This is what I thought - if I bring him over to Guam, he will not be able to find a job for a long time due to his status. I will essentially support him and his life here on Guam until much later. During that time, I will have taken away his family's steady income. Thus, I had a feeling that when he's here, he will ask me to send money to his parents in his place.

THAT IS WHAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH.

I cannot afford to support him and his parents! I refuse to! I just don't want to!

So, I realized, that if I do that in the future, I will open myself to more shit - I will be expected to help out in the future, especially if we were married.

To me - NO GOOD.

So, once I sent the text with my reasons, I was expecting him to argue back his case, but NO! He must've told his older sister what I sent him, because she was the one texting me back and bitching me out!

So essentially, I did not break up with Arnold, I just dumped him, because he didn't fight back. His sister fought back for him - so I broke up with his sister instead!

And the things she said - ......FUCKING PISSES ME OFF.....I still loose sleep over her words....

here's the conversation of txt, sister is in yellow color, I'm in orange color (and this is directly from my backup sms)

----------------------

Roni dis s Airene,i heard what hppnd bet.u nd Arnold,shame on u thinking that my family is up to your money,we maybe poor but we are respectable person and not opportunist.we did'nt ask anything from u,all d things u gve us,u can hve it back we dnt need it.we treat u lke a princess but u see us as a RAG

Your decision is just fne Roni,no one running after u.its just dat we Filipino love so easily,that's why we're hurting coz we invest so much emotions.But i want u 2 know dat u judge Arnold so easily.nd ill never 4get u coz u'r just lke them who hurt my brother so much,nd worst u see him so little.bye

Ur comparing me wit his past relationships, i think each relationship is unique. U say I treated him like 'them', i know nothing about his past girlfrends, maybe arnold did not learn anything from his previous relationships, dats y da same thing happens again.

I understand dat ur upset, but pls remember 2 dat i put alot of feelings into this relationship. U r a good sister 4 sticking up 4 arnold like this, but da problem is realy between him and me. My heart has been telling me he's not the 1, the money issue was not the only problem btween us.

Money shldnt rlly bn an issue Roni,i admit he was wrong n shring that problem w/u nd I told hm bwt dat,he sa's it was in gud faith,he rlly just cnt explain better coz his poor in english.Roni u dnt know how hard he work 2 hve a gud fture its just dat he has a liver problem and its a hindrance 2 him.

I understand all that u said, i dont mean 2 hurt any of u, especialy arnold, but if i didnt stop this now, i would hav bcome more unhappy and resentful. I dont want 2 intentionaly hurt any1. Da language barrier has always been there, but the distance also made that unbearable.

Anyway its ok dat it is over,we hvnt talk much yet but im sure dat he'll fne,ill just want 2 mke it clear dat no one in d fmily loved u bcoz of what u hve,neither Arnold,i say dis not bcoz he's my brother,but bcoz i know hm bter.gudluck

Ok, its sad dats how every1 feels, but it cant b helped. Take care then.

------------------

So, now my question to you is - WHAT KIND OF MAN LETS HIS OLDER SISTER FIGHT HIS BATTLES FOR HIM?

SHIT#3
Papa is in the hospital.
I'll blog about that later.
ALL OF THIS SHIT AT THE SAME TIME!

In the meantime, TiCo officially belongs on my RIGHT RING FINGER.

8/02/2007 11:13:00 AM | |