Gackt = L O V E
私はこの歌を非常に愛する
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Bad days really are bad
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - If I park my car anywhere other than in the first row of either side of the GMH parking lot, my day is screwed (I have thought about this - out of all my experiences, I estimate that at least 85% of the time, this theory is correct). That's why I go to work more than an hour early - to find a good parking spot, to get my routine of prep work done. It's my habit now for almost 4 years. If my day doesn't go according to this routine, I consider my day to be already doomed - even before it has begun.
So today was an awful day. My drive going into work wasn't smooth - too much damn traffic. I didn't get the kind of bento I like from Tokyo Mart before getting to work because they ran out. At work, I could only find a spot in the third row after hunting for more than 5 minutes. My work assignment was different than in the past 4 days - I worked a different set of rooms with a whole new set of patients. I experienced an embarrassing situation in front of two shifts worth of coworkers (at the change of shift time), which I will not go into because since then I've not been able to rid the replays from my mind, thus for the rest of my shift my mind was pre-occupied with re-living said situation OVER and OVER and OVER (and because of this I was so fucking livid).
I was miserable. I kept worrying about that embarrassing situation so much that I was so irritable. I almost felt bipolar - having to keep an upbeat attitude for my patients, but when out of their sight, being so utterly irate. I was not able to control my emotions - I wasn't very social with my coworkers. I wasn't terribly busy with my patients, but I didn't offer to help my other coworkers do things. BUT, at least if they asked me to help, I didn't turn them down. I didn't jump for joy to help, but I HELPED.
And when I helped for the third time tonight, it was as if GOD was toying with me - "Oh it's your third good deed of help tonight - how about I make bodily fluids and unknown substances soil your pants?" Which is what happened - and being the end of the shift I didn't care to get a change of scrubs anymore, I resigned to the fact that SHIT already has been happening all day today, so what's a little more SHIT gonna hurt?
There were still some other little things bothering me still at the end of the shift, but I don't want to recount those. I left work in a rage. Drove home like a mad-man. First thing I did when I got home - popped two XANAX. It's starting to kick in now, so I'm at least a little more calm.
It's sad - I need medication in order to pacify myself. I'm hopeless. Condition: squalid.
This wonderful little pic found on another blogger site called Mostly Simple
So today was an awful day. My drive going into work wasn't smooth - too much damn traffic. I didn't get the kind of bento I like from Tokyo Mart before getting to work because they ran out. At work, I could only find a spot in the third row after hunting for more than 5 minutes. My work assignment was different than in the past 4 days - I worked a different set of rooms with a whole new set of patients. I experienced an embarrassing situation in front of two shifts worth of coworkers (at the change of shift time), which I will not go into because since then I've not been able to rid the replays from my mind, thus for the rest of my shift my mind was pre-occupied with re-living said situation OVER and OVER and OVER (and because of this I was so fucking livid).
I was miserable. I kept worrying about that embarrassing situation so much that I was so irritable. I almost felt bipolar - having to keep an upbeat attitude for my patients, but when out of their sight, being so utterly irate. I was not able to control my emotions - I wasn't very social with my coworkers. I wasn't terribly busy with my patients, but I didn't offer to help my other coworkers do things. BUT, at least if they asked me to help, I didn't turn them down. I didn't jump for joy to help, but I HELPED.
And when I helped for the third time tonight, it was as if GOD was toying with me - "Oh it's your third good deed of help tonight - how about I make bodily fluids and unknown substances soil your pants?" Which is what happened - and being the end of the shift I didn't care to get a change of scrubs anymore, I resigned to the fact that SHIT already has been happening all day today, so what's a little more SHIT gonna hurt?
There were still some other little things bothering me still at the end of the shift, but I don't want to recount those. I left work in a rage. Drove home like a mad-man. First thing I did when I got home - popped two XANAX. It's starting to kick in now, so I'm at least a little more calm.
It's sad - I need medication in order to pacify myself. I'm hopeless. Condition: squalid.
This wonderful little pic found on another blogger site called Mostly Simple
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Monday, November 19, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Finally finished my side project, and Arashi Music Video
Every year, my unit has a Christmas party. And every year, each shift does a presentation as entertainment. No judges, no scoring - just pure FUN. So, last year I made a mega-mix of a lot of songs - ranging from 70's Disco, to the then-current Latino music trend of Reggaeton, and also to the hit Pop song of the time - Pussy Cat Dolls' Buttons.
That was tough work, especially since it was my first attempt at mixing any song together. It turned out to be a nearly 9 minute long dance song - and yeah, we danced it ^_^
But this year, we've been hearing a lot of 80's music being played on the radio at the station. Does it mean the 80's are making a comeback? Hmmm...this gave us ideas for what to dance to this year.
So, again, my mixing abilities were put to use, and I was able to create an 80's Master-Mixx :-D This time, it's just exactly 6 minutes and 6 seconds long ^_^
Too bad I'm lazy too figure out how to upload the song on here via a flash player and what-not. If I have more energy, I might just do so.
In the meantime, I'm really loving this not-so-new Japanese boy group (ARASHI) song called "Hitomi no naka no Galaxy" - back in 2004, it was the theme song to a J-Dorama called "Minami-kun no koibito".
Have a looksy:
That was tough work, especially since it was my first attempt at mixing any song together. It turned out to be a nearly 9 minute long dance song - and yeah, we danced it ^_^
But this year, we've been hearing a lot of 80's music being played on the radio at the station. Does it mean the 80's are making a comeback? Hmmm...this gave us ideas for what to dance to this year.
So, again, my mixing abilities were put to use, and I was able to create an 80's Master-Mixx :-D This time, it's just exactly 6 minutes and 6 seconds long ^_^
Too bad I'm lazy too figure out how to upload the song on here via a flash player and what-not. If I have more energy, I might just do so.
In the meantime, I'm really loving this not-so-new Japanese boy group (ARASHI) song called "Hitomi no naka no Galaxy" - back in 2004, it was the theme song to a J-Dorama called "Minami-kun no koibito".
Have a looksy:
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Monday, November 05, 2007
28 already
Well, I worked yesterday, which was my birthday. It was fortunate I made it to work intact - I had a near-miss accident driving in to work.
For some reason, the airport road intersection connecting to Marine drive (where the Mobil gas station, 76 station and Triple J small car lot are) was super slow and backed up with traffic. Roads were wet, and I stopped in line for the light - kind of in front of the PMC clinic entrance road. The few cars behind me ended up in a rear-end fender bender - 3 in a row - thankfully missing me because there was a lot of room between the car behind me and my own rear-end. But the sound of cars crashing was horrific - as soon as I heard the bumps my reflexes made me look in my rear-view mirror and my instinctive reaction was to creep up - which I did, and luckily there was lots of space in front of me before the next car.
But that was surely a scary way to start my work day!
Then at work, we lacked one staff nurse for my shift - meaning we had to take care of a heavy load of patients - something that my head nurse has been trying to prevent by really trying her best to schedule adequate staff each shift. BUT...when someone calls in sick and no one wants to cover the shift or work extra hours to keep the staff pattern, we end up with SHIT. We're told the usual "sorry" and "what can we do", but REALLY - save that shit for someone else who gives a fuck. I don't want to hear it. Sure...we used to take care of such heavy loads - in fact, it used to be the norm. But you know what - we discovered doing so was VERY dangerous, not only to patients, but to the staff as well. And care quality SUCKED according to standards. When you have so many patients, you have no choice but to cut corners - which is what we're not supposed to do. So yeah - that pissed the hell out of me because it seemed the previous shift didn't really TRY to acquire another staff to help out on our shift. They just took it for granted that we could do it, 'cause we've done it in the past.
Well, you know what - FUCK YOU.
So, my shift ended up being super busy, with ER admissions, ventilator dependent patients, etc. No fun. I bought a Cold Stone cake for my coworkers to enjoy with me, but I really couldn't enjoy dinner because I ate in a rush. And I ended up going home around 12:45 PM instead of my usual 11:30 PM. Sucks.
But at least a couple of things were nice. I was saved from a car accident. Val brought me coffee from Java Cafe and a nice flower and balloon thing for me to display on my medication desk - which caught a lot of attention from others :-D I got a birthday card from my coworkers - and they all said nice things on it for me ^_^ And - this never happens to me - but I honestly found a crumpled up 10 dollar bill in the hallway close to my cart! That's the first time I've ever found money like that just laying around. I usually only find a coin or two - but this was 10 bucks yo!
So, I guess with both bad and good things happening yesterday, the day came out neutral.
For some reason, the airport road intersection connecting to Marine drive (where the Mobil gas station, 76 station and Triple J small car lot are) was super slow and backed up with traffic. Roads were wet, and I stopped in line for the light - kind of in front of the PMC clinic entrance road. The few cars behind me ended up in a rear-end fender bender - 3 in a row - thankfully missing me because there was a lot of room between the car behind me and my own rear-end. But the sound of cars crashing was horrific - as soon as I heard the bumps my reflexes made me look in my rear-view mirror and my instinctive reaction was to creep up - which I did, and luckily there was lots of space in front of me before the next car.
But that was surely a scary way to start my work day!
Then at work, we lacked one staff nurse for my shift - meaning we had to take care of a heavy load of patients - something that my head nurse has been trying to prevent by really trying her best to schedule adequate staff each shift. BUT...when someone calls in sick and no one wants to cover the shift or work extra hours to keep the staff pattern, we end up with SHIT. We're told the usual "sorry" and "what can we do", but REALLY - save that shit for someone else who gives a fuck. I don't want to hear it. Sure...we used to take care of such heavy loads - in fact, it used to be the norm. But you know what - we discovered doing so was VERY dangerous, not only to patients, but to the staff as well. And care quality SUCKED according to standards. When you have so many patients, you have no choice but to cut corners - which is what we're not supposed to do. So yeah - that pissed the hell out of me because it seemed the previous shift didn't really TRY to acquire another staff to help out on our shift. They just took it for granted that we could do it, 'cause we've done it in the past.
Well, you know what - FUCK YOU.
So, my shift ended up being super busy, with ER admissions, ventilator dependent patients, etc. No fun. I bought a Cold Stone cake for my coworkers to enjoy with me, but I really couldn't enjoy dinner because I ate in a rush. And I ended up going home around 12:45 PM instead of my usual 11:30 PM. Sucks.
But at least a couple of things were nice. I was saved from a car accident. Val brought me coffee from Java Cafe and a nice flower and balloon thing for me to display on my medication desk - which caught a lot of attention from others :-D I got a birthday card from my coworkers - and they all said nice things on it for me ^_^ And - this never happens to me - but I honestly found a crumpled up 10 dollar bill in the hallway close to my cart! That's the first time I've ever found money like that just laying around. I usually only find a coin or two - but this was 10 bucks yo!
So, I guess with both bad and good things happening yesterday, the day came out neutral.
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Thursday, November 01, 2007
Gotta love Death Note
Death Note, or as it is called in Japanese, Desu Nooto, is a super cool concept that's materialized in manga, anime and film.
I'll be talking about the Death Note films, since I have not yet acquired the anime. I don't intend to read the manga. I hate reading.
You're given a notebook from a Shinigami (death god), and you gain the power to kill anyone you wish. You write their name in said notebook after you've seen their face, and if you don't specify the cause of death, they will automatically die of a heart attack after 40 seconds.
This Death Note has rules, but I will not explain :-P I'll leave that for you to research :-P
I think this sort of power is cool. You don't have to be anywhere near your target to kill them. You could kill them just by looking at their face on TV or in a picture, as long as you know their name (so you can write it in the Death Note). Victims can be across the world and you could still kill them.
This is perfect murder!
No strings attached, no fingerprints, no evidence!
BUT...if you do what the main character Raito Yagami did (kill many people within a short amount of time - and all die due to the same cause of death, the default heart attack), then law enforcement becomes suspicious.
Sure, Raito (or Light, as some people prefer to call him) initially had good intentions. He wanted to rid the world of all criminals and bad people. He wanted society to be safer. But he got a bit too carried away with this death-dealing power, especially after international police started hunting him down. After the hunt for "Kira" (the name given by society to identify the "killer") began, Raito took it upon himself to kill anyone who would get in his way of his twisted justice. He even killed innocent people connected to him just to cover his ass up. He called them "sacrifices".
Then in comes "L". This mysterious autistic-like person is a super bad-ass international detective and he joins and leads the investigation into "Kira". His background is clandestine, and his peculiar nature borders on freakishness, but this guy really has the mind of a chess master.
But then again, Raito is also a genius.
So, begins the mind games/war between Good ("L") and Evil (Raito). Raito appears good on the outside - handsome, great upbringing, studious, wants to be a detective like his father, etc. But this man is really evil on the inside. Initially, when Raito started being "Kira", he wore neutral brown and earth toned clothing. As the hunt for Kira intensified and Raito started killing innocents, he began wearing all-black clothing.
"L" always wore something white with blue jeans. He looked half-dead and scary on the outside, but he was indeed the righteous one.
So, I won't spoil things completely and blurt out how things end. But if you are able to, I recommend at least watching the Death Note films (there are 2 parts - each 2 hours each). When I get my hands on the anime and watch, I'll let you know what I think ^_^
Oh BTW, I found a pretty neat site related to this Death Note. Check it out - Death Note online.
PS...the latest entries on the death note online site seem to be porn-related, which I'm sure the site owner did not intend to happen, but it's still interesting how he/she came up with this idea for a site.
And it appears new entries can't be added for now. Sad, but it's still cool-looking :-P
I'll be talking about the Death Note films, since I have not yet acquired the anime. I don't intend to read the manga. I hate reading.
You're given a notebook from a Shinigami (death god), and you gain the power to kill anyone you wish. You write their name in said notebook after you've seen their face, and if you don't specify the cause of death, they will automatically die of a heart attack after 40 seconds.
This Death Note has rules, but I will not explain :-P I'll leave that for you to research :-P
I think this sort of power is cool. You don't have to be anywhere near your target to kill them. You could kill them just by looking at their face on TV or in a picture, as long as you know their name (so you can write it in the Death Note). Victims can be across the world and you could still kill them.
This is perfect murder!
No strings attached, no fingerprints, no evidence!
BUT...if you do what the main character Raito Yagami did (kill many people within a short amount of time - and all die due to the same cause of death, the default heart attack), then law enforcement becomes suspicious.
Sure, Raito (or Light, as some people prefer to call him) initially had good intentions. He wanted to rid the world of all criminals and bad people. He wanted society to be safer. But he got a bit too carried away with this death-dealing power, especially after international police started hunting him down. After the hunt for "Kira" (the name given by society to identify the "killer") began, Raito took it upon himself to kill anyone who would get in his way of his twisted justice. He even killed innocent people connected to him just to cover his ass up. He called them "sacrifices".
Then in comes "L". This mysterious autistic-like person is a super bad-ass international detective and he joins and leads the investigation into "Kira". His background is clandestine, and his peculiar nature borders on freakishness, but this guy really has the mind of a chess master.
But then again, Raito is also a genius.
So, begins the mind games/war between Good ("L") and Evil (Raito). Raito appears good on the outside - handsome, great upbringing, studious, wants to be a detective like his father, etc. But this man is really evil on the inside. Initially, when Raito started being "Kira", he wore neutral brown and earth toned clothing. As the hunt for Kira intensified and Raito started killing innocents, he began wearing all-black clothing.
"L" always wore something white with blue jeans. He looked half-dead and scary on the outside, but he was indeed the righteous one.
So, I won't spoil things completely and blurt out how things end. But if you are able to, I recommend at least watching the Death Note films (there are 2 parts - each 2 hours each). When I get my hands on the anime and watch, I'll let you know what I think ^_^
Oh BTW, I found a pretty neat site related to this Death Note. Check it out - Death Note online.
PS...the latest entries on the death note online site seem to be porn-related, which I'm sure the site owner did not intend to happen, but it's still interesting how he/she came up with this idea for a site.
And it appears new entries can't be added for now. Sad, but it's still cool-looking :-P
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About me
- I'm ronnie
- From Mangilao, GUAM, United States
- 29 y/o nurse from the beautiful island of Guam!
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