"Something is not right/Something is quite wrong"
If you ever watched the cartoon called "Madeleine" on HBO as a kid, you probably remember that nun-looking lady singing this on the way to the children's room to check on Madeleine.
Well...that single line of song has been in the back of my mind for years now, in regards to my boogie man - Justin.
Val and I went to the clinic as walk-ins yesterday - Val had a fever of >101, and I had to know for sure if I had Carpal Tunnel or not, plus I needed to complain about my ever-present and possibly work-related back-ache. Justin's nina was there - his mommy's sister. She said that she recently took him to some event where there were lots of teachers and doctors around, and she couldn't help but notice that many of these professionals were intensely watching Justin as he played with the other kids.
They were checking out his behavior. Now, I've always known that my boogie man would never be "normal". His life began traumatically with an emergency c-section that nearly took both he and his mommy to heaven. He was born APGAR 0 (that's a scale used to rate the newborn's response to entering this world - needless to say, he flunked), and it took 30 minutes to revive him to life. He has always been developmentally behind in certain areas. We have been following him up with the UOG childhood early development detection group, and so far they've only been able to tell us that indeed my boogie is delayed in regards to motor skills.
But it's always been Justin's behavior that worried me. He doesn't behave like his peers. He is peculiar. I've always thought him to have at least ADHD, and possibly even some form of autism, but one where is highly functioning scholastically. You see, I believe ADHD runs in the family. I'm thinking it's my dad's side, 'cause when left untreated, ADHD can promote the development of other behavioral problems into adulthood - and lots of dad's cousins are or have been in some kind of "trouble" with the law. And, me and Chet had ADD. I outgrew the hyperactivity-ness, but inattentiveness stayed on with me, and the same goes with Chet.
Along with ADHD, comorbidities can be present (other diseases happening at the same time), and I believe that Chet and I also inherited these - but from mom's side. Chet and I both have Depression and Anxiety - and it seems my mom has had bouts of it too, plus, I have seen it in my mom's only brother, and mom claims her sisters have had bouts of it also. My mom's late mom (grandma) had struggles with depression also - but hers could've been due to her multiple chronic illnesses too. Chronically ill people tend to get depressed.
What I'm scared of is this - that we might not be doing anything to help Justin succeed in the future by staying idle. I fear that social interactions will become difficult for him, as they kind of are now, and he will be an outcast, thus promoting the possibility of depression and anxiety. He is already disadvantaged with his learning disability, and having another problem such as socialization can be catastrophic.
So, those teachers and doctors saw something in Justin. They asked his nina if Justin was ever tested for having Asperger's syndrome - it's just one of the many Autism Spectrum Disorders. She said "no", but told them that Justin was diagnosed with his learning disability of poor motor skills. The teachers and doctors were saying - it's not that - it's his behavior that they were watching - he was exhibiting behaviors characteristic to Asperger's.
Now, I can understand that it would take a lot for any parent to admit that their child is not perfectly normal. I felt it took sometime for Justin's mommy and daddy to realize that he wasn't up to par with motor skills, and they've accepted that he is slow in that area now - we know he has problems writing his name, we still struggle with potty-training him because he has a hard time pulling up his pants. He still is awkward about holding utensils to eat, and thus tends to eat finger-foods.
But, to admit that your child is possibly psychiatrically or psychologically impaired - that would take a lot, I think. I'm practically ready to admit such, and am probably doing what I always do - self-diagnosing - but that's probably because I'm a nurse - anyhoo - I'm ready to get Justin whatever help or therapy he needs to get his behavioral problems under control. I've been wanting to take him to play-therapy for years now, but have not been successful at convincing his mommy and daddy that he needs it.
My Justin is a loving little boy, and he is a wonder and a miracle all at once. He's a little weird at times, and I possibly may have had a hand in making him that way in some aspects, or making him worse (my worst fear). One of the Asperger traits were that these kids were really into wordplay - their perception of things in communicational context is different. I may have been doing Justin a disservice when he was a baby - you see, I always used wordplay with nursery rhymes or songs - I never used the correct words. I would always substitute them for something else - and he would do the same naturally - and I thought - "Cool! my boy is creative!!" To this day, he still sings the versions that I taught him :-)
Example song I sung to him - "Freres Jacques" (sp?) that french song that we Americans sing "Are you sleeping, brother John".
Nonnie's version of "Freres Jacques"
Mr. Boo Boo, Justin Andrew
dormes vous, dormes vous
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Ding ding dong
Ding ding dong
I admit, I sang it like this because I wanted to get his attention for one thing (using his name and my pet name for him), plus, the part where all I sang was "na na na na na na" - I didn't know the words for. But to this day, if I start to sing this song, he will join me in my version of it.
There's other songs that we sing in "nonnie's version" - but I'm completely embarrassed now *^_^
So, what the hell made me blog about this? Well, I was going to unplug my cell phone from the charger, and I always unplug the charger from the wall socket and store it somewhere. In my head I was saying "plug-out the phone" - and I stopped and thought - that is so something a person with Asperger's would say - you know how we say - "plug-in the phone", the opposite would be "unplug the phone" - but I ended up thinking "plug-out the phone" instead. Hmm.....could I have Asperger's too??? Or do I naturally just think this way, and just love wordplay? Probably the latter...
that's what I get for playing too much on the computer :P
Well...that single line of song has been in the back of my mind for years now, in regards to my boogie man - Justin.
Val and I went to the clinic as walk-ins yesterday - Val had a fever of >101, and I had to know for sure if I had Carpal Tunnel or not, plus I needed to complain about my ever-present and possibly work-related back-ache. Justin's nina was there - his mommy's sister. She said that she recently took him to some event where there were lots of teachers and doctors around, and she couldn't help but notice that many of these professionals were intensely watching Justin as he played with the other kids.
They were checking out his behavior. Now, I've always known that my boogie man would never be "normal". His life began traumatically with an emergency c-section that nearly took both he and his mommy to heaven. He was born APGAR 0 (that's a scale used to rate the newborn's response to entering this world - needless to say, he flunked), and it took 30 minutes to revive him to life. He has always been developmentally behind in certain areas. We have been following him up with the UOG childhood early development detection group, and so far they've only been able to tell us that indeed my boogie is delayed in regards to motor skills.
But it's always been Justin's behavior that worried me. He doesn't behave like his peers. He is peculiar. I've always thought him to have at least ADHD, and possibly even some form of autism, but one where is highly functioning scholastically. You see, I believe ADHD runs in the family. I'm thinking it's my dad's side, 'cause when left untreated, ADHD can promote the development of other behavioral problems into adulthood - and lots of dad's cousins are or have been in some kind of "trouble" with the law. And, me and Chet had ADD. I outgrew the hyperactivity-ness, but inattentiveness stayed on with me, and the same goes with Chet.
Along with ADHD, comorbidities can be present (other diseases happening at the same time), and I believe that Chet and I also inherited these - but from mom's side. Chet and I both have Depression and Anxiety - and it seems my mom has had bouts of it too, plus, I have seen it in my mom's only brother, and mom claims her sisters have had bouts of it also. My mom's late mom (grandma) had struggles with depression also - but hers could've been due to her multiple chronic illnesses too. Chronically ill people tend to get depressed.
What I'm scared of is this - that we might not be doing anything to help Justin succeed in the future by staying idle. I fear that social interactions will become difficult for him, as they kind of are now, and he will be an outcast, thus promoting the possibility of depression and anxiety. He is already disadvantaged with his learning disability, and having another problem such as socialization can be catastrophic.
So, those teachers and doctors saw something in Justin. They asked his nina if Justin was ever tested for having Asperger's syndrome - it's just one of the many Autism Spectrum Disorders. She said "no", but told them that Justin was diagnosed with his learning disability of poor motor skills. The teachers and doctors were saying - it's not that - it's his behavior that they were watching - he was exhibiting behaviors characteristic to Asperger's.
Now, I can understand that it would take a lot for any parent to admit that their child is not perfectly normal. I felt it took sometime for Justin's mommy and daddy to realize that he wasn't up to par with motor skills, and they've accepted that he is slow in that area now - we know he has problems writing his name, we still struggle with potty-training him because he has a hard time pulling up his pants. He still is awkward about holding utensils to eat, and thus tends to eat finger-foods.
But, to admit that your child is possibly psychiatrically or psychologically impaired - that would take a lot, I think. I'm practically ready to admit such, and am probably doing what I always do - self-diagnosing - but that's probably because I'm a nurse - anyhoo - I'm ready to get Justin whatever help or therapy he needs to get his behavioral problems under control. I've been wanting to take him to play-therapy for years now, but have not been successful at convincing his mommy and daddy that he needs it.
My Justin is a loving little boy, and he is a wonder and a miracle all at once. He's a little weird at times, and I possibly may have had a hand in making him that way in some aspects, or making him worse (my worst fear). One of the Asperger traits were that these kids were really into wordplay - their perception of things in communicational context is different. I may have been doing Justin a disservice when he was a baby - you see, I always used wordplay with nursery rhymes or songs - I never used the correct words. I would always substitute them for something else - and he would do the same naturally - and I thought - "Cool! my boy is creative!!" To this day, he still sings the versions that I taught him :-)
Example song I sung to him - "Freres Jacques" (sp?) that french song that we Americans sing "Are you sleeping, brother John".
Nonnie's version of "Freres Jacques"
Mr. Boo Boo, Justin Andrew
dormes vous, dormes vous
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Ding ding dong
Ding ding dong
I admit, I sang it like this because I wanted to get his attention for one thing (using his name and my pet name for him), plus, the part where all I sang was "na na na na na na" - I didn't know the words for. But to this day, if I start to sing this song, he will join me in my version of it.
There's other songs that we sing in "nonnie's version" - but I'm completely embarrassed now *^_^
So, what the hell made me blog about this? Well, I was going to unplug my cell phone from the charger, and I always unplug the charger from the wall socket and store it somewhere. In my head I was saying "plug-out the phone" - and I stopped and thought - that is so something a person with Asperger's would say - you know how we say - "plug-in the phone", the opposite would be "unplug the phone" - but I ended up thinking "plug-out the phone" instead. Hmm.....could I have Asperger's too??? Or do I naturally just think this way, and just love wordplay? Probably the latter...
that's what I get for playing too much on the computer :P
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