On sick leave from work...
Work's been hard for the past couple of weeks, and I know my co-workers would agree with that. The people coming into the hospital these days are just really sick, and require lots of time and attention, especially the peeps on life-support...yes, we do care for patients on life support and a couple of IV drips on my unit (as well as the other units), it doesn't only happen in the intensive care unit (ICU). But what's worse about caring for that high level of acuity patient, is that you're not just focusing on that patient or another like they do in the ICU (ICU nurses care for 2 patients only). You've got 5 more patients plus the one intensive patient on Telemetry (where I work), so on a "full house" day, each floor nurse would care for 6 patients. The load is even higher in the other adult care units. Med-Surg averages 9-11 patients, and so does the Surgical unit, but again, it depends on how many nurses are working the floor. If there are more nurses, your load decreases.
The entire world is suffering from a nursing shortage. As far as I know, there has not been a time where the need for nurses was not present. There are just too many patients per nurse, and that makes the job stressful. California and some other states have laws limiting the workload per nurse, called nurse-patient ratio. I don't think such a thing can occur here on Guam. If we did have such a law, I'm sure the number of beds at the hospitals will decrease.
Which brings me to another point that I still find amazing to see in the PDN. "No beds at the hospital", or "Long ER waiting times". Well...let me just inform the people of Guam that GMH is not the only hospital experiencing this "long ER waiting time". It's written about all the time in nursing and medical journals. It happens in other places too, and Guam is not unique to it. So, if you go to the US, you probably can experience the same thing. So, enough already about the complaining. Number two: "no beds at the hospital" - well, don't forget our population is increasing. Sure, we can build as many beds as finances will allow to try to accomodate better the people, but what's the point when there's no nurses to care for the patients in them? I say keep our beds, increase our nurse workforce, and just be better at BED UTILIZATION.
Ah...the magic word. UTILIZATION. Some people really don't need to be admitted and occupy a bed. Some people don't need to have their heart monitored, like what we do in my unit. Something's gotta happen in that department soon, or GMH will always lack beds, as they will be filled with people who don't need acute hospital care, and the ones who do need those beds, stay forever, waiting in the ER.
Still with me so far? Thanks, I really needed to get the above out of my head. A lot of the aforementioned really makes me stressed out, as I think it does also for other hospital employees. So, to elabrorate more on my topic. I think I'm burned out. You already know about my pain troubles, and fatigue, and psychiatric history. Well, it came to a head on Sunday. I was working a long stretch of five days (that's long for nurses, really), and I was just in a bad mood that day. I came home tired, hurt all over, and hungry. I snacked a little bit. Then I got a call from work. The charge nurse explained to me that something was not done, and of course, I'm in disbelief. I became angry at myself, even though I tried to apologize for the mistake, I still didn't feel good. I was so upset, that I started to cry. Val was there to console me. It took me a while to come down from the emotions.
I showered, then tried to go to sleep, but couldn't as the thoughts still stirred in my head. Then my cell rings. I get a call from my coworker who asked if I forgot to do something, and I realize, "oh shit...I didn't do it!", but before she hangs up, she hands the phone over to my other coworker, who asks me something similar for another thing, and again, "I'm really sorry, I didn't do it". That's already three things that didn't get done because I honestly forgot or did not know that I even had those things to do.
I break down again in Val's room. Thank God she was still awake to listen and console me. I was so emotional that she instructed me to take my Xanax to calm down. I was so beside myself. I couldn't believe my quality of care lacked because I was not 100% at work. I think I haven't been 100% at work at all, but this was all too much. Val knew that I had to see my psychiatrist ASAP. So, in the morning, she arranged my appointment, and took Monday and Tuesday off to be with me and help me. I am so lucky to have a sister like Val. I don't know what I would do without her.
My psychiatrist ordered me to take two weeks sick leave and rest. We don't know exactly where my pain and fatigue is coming from, and it could be all kinds of things. It could be my thryoid, as I've been hypothyroid for about 5 years now. Maybe my levels are low, and I need to adjust my thyroid hormone medicine. Maybe it's my depression that's causing it. But, maybe not, as I still enjoy life's activities, and I don't feel sad presently. If we do find it's depression, I would definitely have to try a different anti-depressant. Maybe it's just stress and wear and tear from work. If it's that, then maybe all I need is some rest to heal my body, which I can do in my 2 weeks sick leave. If it's none of these, my doc will have to rule out fibromyalgia, which she said is terrible and impossible to treat. I really hope it's not that.
So, I'm now going into day 4 of my sick leave, and I still wake up limping and in pain. A little tired still, but I have time to rest now whenever I want. I really hope I improve and feel better soon. In the meantime, I'll try to enjoy my off-time ^_^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
so, who am I listening to now? my russian girl-duo, or course! ^_^
it's their new album, "Dangerous and Moving", and so far, it's good :-)
The entire world is suffering from a nursing shortage. As far as I know, there has not been a time where the need for nurses was not present. There are just too many patients per nurse, and that makes the job stressful. California and some other states have laws limiting the workload per nurse, called nurse-patient ratio. I don't think such a thing can occur here on Guam. If we did have such a law, I'm sure the number of beds at the hospitals will decrease.
Which brings me to another point that I still find amazing to see in the PDN. "No beds at the hospital", or "Long ER waiting times". Well...let me just inform the people of Guam that GMH is not the only hospital experiencing this "long ER waiting time". It's written about all the time in nursing and medical journals. It happens in other places too, and Guam is not unique to it. So, if you go to the US, you probably can experience the same thing. So, enough already about the complaining. Number two: "no beds at the hospital" - well, don't forget our population is increasing. Sure, we can build as many beds as finances will allow to try to accomodate better the people, but what's the point when there's no nurses to care for the patients in them? I say keep our beds, increase our nurse workforce, and just be better at BED UTILIZATION.
Ah...the magic word. UTILIZATION. Some people really don't need to be admitted and occupy a bed. Some people don't need to have their heart monitored, like what we do in my unit. Something's gotta happen in that department soon, or GMH will always lack beds, as they will be filled with people who don't need acute hospital care, and the ones who do need those beds, stay forever, waiting in the ER.
Still with me so far? Thanks, I really needed to get the above out of my head. A lot of the aforementioned really makes me stressed out, as I think it does also for other hospital employees. So, to elabrorate more on my topic. I think I'm burned out. You already know about my pain troubles, and fatigue, and psychiatric history. Well, it came to a head on Sunday. I was working a long stretch of five days (that's long for nurses, really), and I was just in a bad mood that day. I came home tired, hurt all over, and hungry. I snacked a little bit. Then I got a call from work. The charge nurse explained to me that something was not done, and of course, I'm in disbelief. I became angry at myself, even though I tried to apologize for the mistake, I still didn't feel good. I was so upset, that I started to cry. Val was there to console me. It took me a while to come down from the emotions.
I showered, then tried to go to sleep, but couldn't as the thoughts still stirred in my head. Then my cell rings. I get a call from my coworker who asked if I forgot to do something, and I realize, "oh shit...I didn't do it!", but before she hangs up, she hands the phone over to my other coworker, who asks me something similar for another thing, and again, "I'm really sorry, I didn't do it". That's already three things that didn't get done because I honestly forgot or did not know that I even had those things to do.
I break down again in Val's room. Thank God she was still awake to listen and console me. I was so emotional that she instructed me to take my Xanax to calm down. I was so beside myself. I couldn't believe my quality of care lacked because I was not 100% at work. I think I haven't been 100% at work at all, but this was all too much. Val knew that I had to see my psychiatrist ASAP. So, in the morning, she arranged my appointment, and took Monday and Tuesday off to be with me and help me. I am so lucky to have a sister like Val. I don't know what I would do without her.
My psychiatrist ordered me to take two weeks sick leave and rest. We don't know exactly where my pain and fatigue is coming from, and it could be all kinds of things. It could be my thryoid, as I've been hypothyroid for about 5 years now. Maybe my levels are low, and I need to adjust my thyroid hormone medicine. Maybe it's my depression that's causing it. But, maybe not, as I still enjoy life's activities, and I don't feel sad presently. If we do find it's depression, I would definitely have to try a different anti-depressant. Maybe it's just stress and wear and tear from work. If it's that, then maybe all I need is some rest to heal my body, which I can do in my 2 weeks sick leave. If it's none of these, my doc will have to rule out fibromyalgia, which she said is terrible and impossible to treat. I really hope it's not that.
So, I'm now going into day 4 of my sick leave, and I still wake up limping and in pain. A little tired still, but I have time to rest now whenever I want. I really hope I improve and feel better soon. In the meantime, I'll try to enjoy my off-time ^_^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
so, who am I listening to now? my russian girl-duo, or course! ^_^
it's their new album, "Dangerous and Moving", and so far, it's good :-)
I think you've been over-worked and over-stressed. A rest will do you wonders. You're human, and all humans make mistakes, especially worn out humans.
The hypnotherapist I went to a while ago had fibromyalgia. He told me about how hard it was to deal with. He took a supplement that helped ... he recommended it to my mom for her joint pain and she liked it. I think it was called MSM - just something you might be able to try. Probably need to check for possible interactions with your meds. Did you know I can't have grapefruit juice while I'm taking Cyclosporin? Funny, eh? Good thing I don't particularly like grapefruit.
Posted by
sabete |
10/27/2005 06:28:00 PM
MSM?? I'll see if I can look into that.
We're checking my thyroid levels, to make sure my fatigue isn't from a hypothyroid again, and maybe I'll need to adjust the dose of my thyroid replacement hormone. But, still no lab results yet.
I haven't looked up anything on fibromyalgia yet, as my psychiatrist and I agree that if I'm a hypochondriac, reading up on it would not be a good idea ;P I don't really know if I'm a hypochondriac, but as a nurse in the medical field, I think I would tend to be one.
No grapefruit? That's okay with me. I don't really like grapefruit either ;P
My meds are killer. Well, maybe only Paxil is killer. Getting off that damn pastel pill will not be an easy feat. I've already tried once to taper down to a very low 10 mg dose in the past, and it was not nice. I was about to go insane with all the vertigo and weird noises. Yes...you hear noises in your ears out of nowhere, and they are really loud and abrupt...it's scary :(
So, I've been on Paxil for 5 years now. I don't think I'll ever be able to get off of it :( My doc said at the time I was prescribed paxil (5 years ago), nobody really knew about the killer withdrawal effects. And now, Paxil is not usually prescribed because of that reason.
Too bad for me, eh? -_-
Posted by
ronnie |
10/30/2005 01:29:00 PM
Don't say that! I hope you eventually break up with your pastel princess ... cut that bitch off, dude.
There are other things I want to say .. but not in public. I also have a test tomorrow that I've barely studied for. *sigh*
Posted by
sabete |
10/30/2005 07:48:00 PM