Uni-lingual
As a person who only knows one language fluently, I feel that others on this island who are bilingual or even trilingual, look down on me. They may not say this to my face, but I know they are thinking that I'm shameful for not knowing how to speak my own language. This happens often at work:
Patient: "Kao Chamorro hao?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't know how to speak Chamorro"
Patient: "Oh..." (with a look on their face of disappointment or disapproval)
Or maybe it's not them at all. Maybe it's really me...as I am disappointed in myself for not knowing the language of my own people. Maybe I'm projecting this feeling to others, and think they are throwing it back at me.
Well, whatever the case is, it bothers me. But, to my defense, learning chamorro was not easily accomodated in my home. Sure, we learned it throughout our entire schooling in Guam, but in my experience in those Chamorro classes, things were repeated over and over and you never really got to speaking anything to eachother. You kept learning really fundamental stuff...the hellos and goodbyes, the days of the week, etc.
So, whatever I learned in class, was not practiced at home. Since grandma is Japanese, the common language spoken at home had to be English, for she didn't understand Chamorro. Thus, english was the only thing we spoke to each other.
So, does that make me a bad person (as opposed to those who do speak chamorro)? What about the families who are chamorro-only? Are they speaking chamorro at home? Or are they just speaking english as well?
Another thing that bothers me, is that I don't know how to speak Japanese either. I only know little phrases and basic stuff, but that's all. And this is a language I spoke often when I was a kid (before entering school)...I mean, not fluent, but perhaps more than I do now. And it was lost when I entered school (kindergarten), because grandma stopped teaching it to me and Val, for she thought we would become confused, and have a more difficult time in school.
But, kids all over the world learn two languages without this "confusion". Why did grandma think this way?
Another thing...I've been trying so hard since my Boogie Man was a baby, to teach him whatever Japanese I know. I've tried my best to have grandma help me..."Nihongo de itte kudasai" (please speak japanese), I would ask her. But, she gave me that answer again, "he's gonna get confused".
And yet, when Justin speaks japanese to her friends, you know, "konnichiwa", she is surprised and proud.
*sigh* And now I'm trying to learn Tagalog through my coworkers. They speak it all the time at work, so I have more opportunities to listen and learn since it's nearly a daily thing (save my off-days). I can't get that kind of opportunity at home. But I still want to learn Japanese and Chamorro.
Lately, in my learning of these languages, I found a word in Tagalog that is said and spelled the same as a Japanese word, but both mean completely different things. The word "ka" in Tagalog is different from the Japanese "ka". So, whenever I hear the Tagalog "ka" I first think of the Japanese "ka" meaning. It's confusing...
Patient: "Kao Chamorro hao?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't know how to speak Chamorro"
Patient: "Oh..." (with a look on their face of disappointment or disapproval)
Or maybe it's not them at all. Maybe it's really me...as I am disappointed in myself for not knowing the language of my own people. Maybe I'm projecting this feeling to others, and think they are throwing it back at me.
Well, whatever the case is, it bothers me. But, to my defense, learning chamorro was not easily accomodated in my home. Sure, we learned it throughout our entire schooling in Guam, but in my experience in those Chamorro classes, things were repeated over and over and you never really got to speaking anything to eachother. You kept learning really fundamental stuff...the hellos and goodbyes, the days of the week, etc.
So, whatever I learned in class, was not practiced at home. Since grandma is Japanese, the common language spoken at home had to be English, for she didn't understand Chamorro. Thus, english was the only thing we spoke to each other.
So, does that make me a bad person (as opposed to those who do speak chamorro)? What about the families who are chamorro-only? Are they speaking chamorro at home? Or are they just speaking english as well?
Another thing that bothers me, is that I don't know how to speak Japanese either. I only know little phrases and basic stuff, but that's all. And this is a language I spoke often when I was a kid (before entering school)...I mean, not fluent, but perhaps more than I do now. And it was lost when I entered school (kindergarten), because grandma stopped teaching it to me and Val, for she thought we would become confused, and have a more difficult time in school.
But, kids all over the world learn two languages without this "confusion". Why did grandma think this way?
Another thing...I've been trying so hard since my Boogie Man was a baby, to teach him whatever Japanese I know. I've tried my best to have grandma help me..."Nihongo de itte kudasai" (please speak japanese), I would ask her. But, she gave me that answer again, "he's gonna get confused".
And yet, when Justin speaks japanese to her friends, you know, "konnichiwa", she is surprised and proud.
*sigh* And now I'm trying to learn Tagalog through my coworkers. They speak it all the time at work, so I have more opportunities to listen and learn since it's nearly a daily thing (save my off-days). I can't get that kind of opportunity at home. But I still want to learn Japanese and Chamorro.
Lately, in my learning of these languages, I found a word in Tagalog that is said and spelled the same as a Japanese word, but both mean completely different things. The word "ka" in Tagalog is different from the Japanese "ka". So, whenever I hear the Tagalog "ka" I first think of the Japanese "ka" meaning. It's confusing...
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