Uni-lingual
As a person who only knows one language fluently, I feel that others on this island who are bilingual or even trilingual, look down on me. They may not say this to my face, but I know they are thinking that I'm shameful for not knowing how to speak my own language. This happens often at work:
Patient: "Kao Chamorro hao?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't know how to speak Chamorro"
Patient: "Oh..." (with a look on their face of disappointment or disapproval)
Or maybe it's not them at all. Maybe it's really me...as I am disappointed in myself for not knowing the language of my own people. Maybe I'm projecting this feeling to others, and think they are throwing it back at me.
Well, whatever the case is, it bothers me. But, to my defense, learning chamorro was not easily accomodated in my home. Sure, we learned it throughout our entire schooling in Guam, but in my experience in those Chamorro classes, things were repeated over and over and you never really got to speaking anything to eachother. You kept learning really fundamental stuff...the hellos and goodbyes, the days of the week, etc.
So, whatever I learned in class, was not practiced at home. Since grandma is Japanese, the common language spoken at home had to be English, for she didn't understand Chamorro. Thus, english was the only thing we spoke to each other.
So, does that make me a bad person (as opposed to those who do speak chamorro)? What about the families who are chamorro-only? Are they speaking chamorro at home? Or are they just speaking english as well?
Another thing that bothers me, is that I don't know how to speak Japanese either. I only know little phrases and basic stuff, but that's all. And this is a language I spoke often when I was a kid (before entering school)...I mean, not fluent, but perhaps more than I do now. And it was lost when I entered school (kindergarten), because grandma stopped teaching it to me and Val, for she thought we would become confused, and have a more difficult time in school.
But, kids all over the world learn two languages without this "confusion". Why did grandma think this way?
Another thing...I've been trying so hard since my Boogie Man was a baby, to teach him whatever Japanese I know. I've tried my best to have grandma help me..."Nihongo de itte kudasai" (please speak japanese), I would ask her. But, she gave me that answer again, "he's gonna get confused".
And yet, when Justin speaks japanese to her friends, you know, "konnichiwa", she is surprised and proud.
*sigh* And now I'm trying to learn Tagalog through my coworkers. They speak it all the time at work, so I have more opportunities to listen and learn since it's nearly a daily thing (save my off-days). I can't get that kind of opportunity at home. But I still want to learn Japanese and Chamorro.
Lately, in my learning of these languages, I found a word in Tagalog that is said and spelled the same as a Japanese word, but both mean completely different things. The word "ka" in Tagalog is different from the Japanese "ka". So, whenever I hear the Tagalog "ka" I first think of the Japanese "ka" meaning. It's confusing...
Patient: "Kao Chamorro hao?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't know how to speak Chamorro"
Patient: "Oh..." (with a look on their face of disappointment or disapproval)
Or maybe it's not them at all. Maybe it's really me...as I am disappointed in myself for not knowing the language of my own people. Maybe I'm projecting this feeling to others, and think they are throwing it back at me.
Well, whatever the case is, it bothers me. But, to my defense, learning chamorro was not easily accomodated in my home. Sure, we learned it throughout our entire schooling in Guam, but in my experience in those Chamorro classes, things were repeated over and over and you never really got to speaking anything to eachother. You kept learning really fundamental stuff...the hellos and goodbyes, the days of the week, etc.
So, whatever I learned in class, was not practiced at home. Since grandma is Japanese, the common language spoken at home had to be English, for she didn't understand Chamorro. Thus, english was the only thing we spoke to each other.
So, does that make me a bad person (as opposed to those who do speak chamorro)? What about the families who are chamorro-only? Are they speaking chamorro at home? Or are they just speaking english as well?
Another thing that bothers me, is that I don't know how to speak Japanese either. I only know little phrases and basic stuff, but that's all. And this is a language I spoke often when I was a kid (before entering school)...I mean, not fluent, but perhaps more than I do now. And it was lost when I entered school (kindergarten), because grandma stopped teaching it to me and Val, for she thought we would become confused, and have a more difficult time in school.
But, kids all over the world learn two languages without this "confusion". Why did grandma think this way?
Another thing...I've been trying so hard since my Boogie Man was a baby, to teach him whatever Japanese I know. I've tried my best to have grandma help me..."Nihongo de itte kudasai" (please speak japanese), I would ask her. But, she gave me that answer again, "he's gonna get confused".
And yet, when Justin speaks japanese to her friends, you know, "konnichiwa", she is surprised and proud.
*sigh* And now I'm trying to learn Tagalog through my coworkers. They speak it all the time at work, so I have more opportunities to listen and learn since it's nearly a daily thing (save my off-days). I can't get that kind of opportunity at home. But I still want to learn Japanese and Chamorro.
Lately, in my learning of these languages, I found a word in Tagalog that is said and spelled the same as a Japanese word, but both mean completely different things. The word "ka" in Tagalog is different from the Japanese "ka". So, whenever I hear the Tagalog "ka" I first think of the Japanese "ka" meaning. It's confusing...
You've described two things about Guam which drive me nuts. First that although Chamorro may be one of Guam's two official languages and people may say its important to preserve it, its usage is not actually encouraged, especially not to those who are trying to learn it. Second, that the Chamorro taught both in school and at the university is based on memorization and not instruction in grammar, which would lead people to actually be able to use the language.
If you are ever serious about learning Chamorro please let me know. I learned the language as an adult and it was a very difficult but satisfying task, I understand the frustration you feel. I decided later to help anyone who needs it in helping to preserve our language. When I was on Guam I organized meetings at Kings and at UOG to just meet and discuss Chamorro grammar, answer questions and just try and use the language for a couple hours. Since I'm in the states now I do what I can over the internet.
Again, let me know.
Sahuma Minagahet ya Na'suha Dinagi
Miget
Posted by
Michael Lujan Bevacqua |
1/10/2006 07:51:00 PM
Thanks for the comment, Miguet :-)
I see more and more every day, that knowing Chamorro is invaluable. I feel I can have a better understanding of my patients at the hospital if I spoke to them and related to them in Chamorro, instead of English.
And, I'm trying to do the same when I learn bits of words and phrases of Tagalog from my co-workers. I use whatever I learn in my care of Filipino patients, and I feel they appreciate the effort.
I want to be able to relate and understand better cultures and values...and language is one way of doing that.
Thanks for the offer as well. Once I finish studying for my NCLEX exam (and passing it), I will have more time to focus on language learning on a more structured basis.
For now, I learn "on the go", and speak whatever I know, whenever I can. But still, not at home :-(
Posted by
ronnie |
1/15/2006 07:58:00 PM