This is completely unacceptable...
...the returning of gifts I gave him and his family during our relationship.
I had a feeling that he would do such a thing, though - I knew the very moment I heard of his opportunity - his first cousin (the one who married my coworker and who set us up) - was back in the PI for medical reasons. That's just the kind of person he is - I knew he would use his cousin to bring MOST of the gifts back to me.
I said MOST.
You know, I'm already pissed about this whole "return to sender" deal...but...if he really wanted to be rid of all evidence of me, he should have at least done so thoroughly. Where's the $70 Lacoste shirt I gave his father for father's day? Where's the $20 graduation gift I gave his nephew? Where's the $50 worth of toddler clothing from Macy's that I gave to his favorite nephew as a birthday gift?
Why am I angry? Here's the thing about me. I give gifts out of care, thoughtfulness and kindness. I spend time and money finding something to make the person I care about happy. I give gifts to show that I appreciate a person.
I DO NOT GIVE GIFTS ONLY TO HAVE THEM RETURNED TO ME WHEN SHIT GOES SOUR.
Returning MOST of these gifts back to me is INSULTING.
Returning MOST of these gifts back to me is DISRESPECTFUL.
Instead of returning these things, he should have just thrown them away or given them away. I don't care to have these things back. When I give gifts, I DO NOT, HAVE NOT, and WILL NOT EVER WANT THEM BACK.
I know that I hurt him by dumping him. I guess this is his way of hurting me back.
Do I have any plans on returning the favor and doing the same? NO. I'm not that contemptuous.
But now I have to figure out what to do with the returned shit. I still have the gifts he gave me. I haven't figured out yet what I want to do with those things - and now I have to deal with more shit.
I'm completely infuriated. I've lost all respect for him.
Wakaru ka?
----------------------------
Edit - I realize now that when I first blogged this I was super-irate. I've cooled down a bit. I'm still hurt, but I realize now I shouldn't expect him to retrieve those gifts I gave the kids. But the father - I don't see why he forgot that. I mean, he gave me back the gifts I gave the mother, so why not the father?
Another thing - my blogs are also automatically posted on my multiply site as well, so I got a comment there from my UOG nursing classmate. She thinks I need to call him for a resolution.
I responded back that I don't think he'd welcome a call or text from me. I was told by his cousin-in-law that he's trying to forget me and that returning the gifts was his way of letting go, or something like that.
I heard that he really took the break-up badly, to the point of getting seriously drunk on his birthday. Well, I think he would've gotten drunk on his birthday anyway, with or without the breakup, so....
yeah....
I somehow feel responsible for everyone's sadness...everyone meaning him and his family and friends...because I did the dumping.
But...what can I do, right? Shit happens. People can't always be happy. I wasn't happy to stay in the relationship. I don't think I need to explain any more than that...
What's done is done. I'm trying my hardest to get over this shit.
I had a feeling that he would do such a thing, though - I knew the very moment I heard of his opportunity - his first cousin (the one who married my coworker and who set us up) - was back in the PI for medical reasons. That's just the kind of person he is - I knew he would use his cousin to bring MOST of the gifts back to me.
I said MOST.
You know, I'm already pissed about this whole "return to sender" deal...but...if he really wanted to be rid of all evidence of me, he should have at least done so thoroughly. Where's the $70 Lacoste shirt I gave his father for father's day? Where's the $20 graduation gift I gave his nephew? Where's the $50 worth of toddler clothing from Macy's that I gave to his favorite nephew as a birthday gift?
Why am I angry? Here's the thing about me. I give gifts out of care, thoughtfulness and kindness. I spend time and money finding something to make the person I care about happy. I give gifts to show that I appreciate a person.
I DO NOT GIVE GIFTS ONLY TO HAVE THEM RETURNED TO ME WHEN SHIT GOES SOUR.
Returning MOST of these gifts back to me is INSULTING.
Returning MOST of these gifts back to me is DISRESPECTFUL.
Instead of returning these things, he should have just thrown them away or given them away. I don't care to have these things back. When I give gifts, I DO NOT, HAVE NOT, and WILL NOT EVER WANT THEM BACK.
I know that I hurt him by dumping him. I guess this is his way of hurting me back.
Do I have any plans on returning the favor and doing the same? NO. I'm not that contemptuous.
But now I have to figure out what to do with the returned shit. I still have the gifts he gave me. I haven't figured out yet what I want to do with those things - and now I have to deal with more shit.
I'm completely infuriated. I've lost all respect for him.
Wakaru ka?
----------------------------
Edit - I realize now that when I first blogged this I was super-irate. I've cooled down a bit. I'm still hurt, but I realize now I shouldn't expect him to retrieve those gifts I gave the kids. But the father - I don't see why he forgot that. I mean, he gave me back the gifts I gave the mother, so why not the father?
Another thing - my blogs are also automatically posted on my multiply site as well, so I got a comment there from my UOG nursing classmate. She thinks I need to call him for a resolution.
I responded back that I don't think he'd welcome a call or text from me. I was told by his cousin-in-law that he's trying to forget me and that returning the gifts was his way of letting go, or something like that.
I heard that he really took the break-up badly, to the point of getting seriously drunk on his birthday. Well, I think he would've gotten drunk on his birthday anyway, with or without the breakup, so....
yeah....
I somehow feel responsible for everyone's sadness...everyone meaning him and his family and friends...because I did the dumping.
But...what can I do, right? Shit happens. People can't always be happy. I wasn't happy to stay in the relationship. I don't think I need to explain any more than that...
What's done is done. I'm trying my hardest to get over this shit.
Getting over a break up is a process and you can't skip any steps. Take your time. When I broke up with a certain someone I put every letter I'd written to him in an envelope, sealed it, and wrote the date on it. I was very proud of myself for never opening it again.
That was a step in my process. His was to send stuff back to you. One of yours is to vent. VENT girl!! I'm listening. I love you, dude. :)
Even though we totally missed our anniversary. LOL
Posted by
sabete |
9/15/2007 07:50:00 PM
I guess one of my processes was to speedily get over him. He sure put a stop to that...
I'm thankful you're listening dude, and you know I love you too! I just need to go on a vacation or something...to heal, clear my mind, get away from the stresses of work, and to make up our anniversary to you! ^_^
Posted by
ronnie |
9/16/2007 11:35:00 AM